They were picking them up with their bare hands and literally cramming handfuls into their mouths. They had taken to go boxes and filled them with hush puppies and oysters, leaving absolutely none for the residents. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ I asked them angrily. ‘That’s all the oysters we have and those were for the residents.’ ‘They can eat that pureed shit.’ I was told. ‘Or you can go buy some more oysters if you want.’ I went right into the head man’s office and complained. He gave me a deflated glare and told me to cook another lunch for the residents. ‘So I have to cook a meal twice and serve lunch late because the cooks and aides ate all of the food that was meant for the residents?’ I asked. He held his hands up in an exasperated gesture. ‘What else can I do?’ he said. ‘You can go into the dining room and explain to all these people who PAY to live and eat here that your kitchen staff just ate their lunch. They have been smelling this food for an hour and now they. “You sure?”“Well, maybe not…”“And another thing,” continued my darling daughter. “He loves music. Which is fine, but he really loves it. To the point where he will tell you who sang what song, the year it was released, band member’s names, what bands they used to be in, it’s really annoying. Oh, and he plays air guitar, it’s so stupid.”“Thanks, honey!” I was getting embarrassed. She was really helping me out. Yep.“So you’re like a savant then?” Mel asked.“Yeah, an Idiot Savant, that’s me!”We goofed around some more, or rather, they goofed on me some more. But it was all in fun and didn’t seem to bother Melanie much. In fact, I think maybe I looked a little better in her eyes after this, somehow. My daughter actually was helping me!Then she said something kind of weird.“Dad, when are you serving the papers?”I just about spit my food out. “How do you know about that? I haven’t told anybody! Not even Melanie!”“Makenna told me. She works over at Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe. Apparently,.
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